The Dog House (Ethan)

Blue was beyond mad. She was furious. She didn't even let Ethan help her down off the curb. She didn't let him open the door to the car, and she SURE AS HELL didn't let him drive. The car unlocked on it's own, or rather it seemed that way. The security system was disabled, and she got into the front seat. Thrusting her cane into the leg well of the passenger seat before Ethan got into it. So it had a place to go.

She turned the engine over and waited. Blue-green eyes stared out the windshield. Broken nails drumming on the steering wheel as she waited for him to get into the car. He was lucky she hadn't driven off and left his ass to deal with her sister. Who they had just left in the cafe with their deal set. He was lucky because that would ruin their deal she was sure since Neona said she just wanted to see her happy.

Well she WASN'T HAPPY!

She was furious!

Soon as the door closed, she threw the car into gear and darted out into the traffic. Narrowly avoiding a collision by a small vehicle that her car would have demolished anyway. Only Blue wasn't heading home, she was heading to the river. She needed to calm down and that was the only place she could think of where she would be able to just calm herself down. Because right now, she wan't to shut Ethan's cybernetics down and pop him right in the nose with her cane!

The radio turned on. She didn't want to talk, and she certainly didn't want to hear any more excuses. Tears were already burning in her eyes and shimmering in them as well. It was easy to see that she was both hurt AND angry. She wiped angrily at the traitor tears that fell from her lower lids.

Part of it, she knew was her. Part of it was that she hated being useless. She hated being unable to work like she used to. She hated being idle. She hated having to ask for help. She hated having to get leg massages at night to stop the nerves from tremoring. She hated having to take pills to take the edge off in the morning when she got up and in the evenings before she slept. She hated... she just.. HATED everything she had become because of that stupid android. The one that nearly killed her, and nearly killed Ethan because he had to dig her out.

She pulled into the parking lot for the River boat. Her favorite thing. And she shut the car down. Getting out, she grabbed her cane and charged off as fast as her broken ass would let her towards the river bank. She didn't want to ride the boat, she just wanted to watch it. There was a small knoll about twenty feet from the river bank and Blue sunk down on top of that, sitting there, staring with tearful and furious eyes at the river boat as it chugged peacefully across the river to the place where her favorite garden was.

Ethan followed his pissed off girlfriend as quickly as he could. She was so made, you could practically see the fumes coming from her head.

Blue...wait! You can't drive...come on!

Jumping in to the passenger seat, nearly castrating himself on her cane, Ethan slammed the door, having to squeeze the metal to keep in the vehicle.

Blu...you gotta....watch the road!

The car swerved through lanes of traffic to an unknown destination at speeds that couldn't be safe or legal.

Where in the name of TERra are we going!?

His driver wasn't responding, but the electrical systems in the car were going crazy; sad, innocent electric pawns in the emotional turmoil that Blue was seemingly going through.

What is this over!?!? The meeting actually went well.

The car skidded to a stop by their destination, nearly throwing Ethan from the car. Turning, he finally saw their destination: the River Boat. It made complete sense...something was really bothering Blue, this was her favorite place. Turning his attention to the woman who was, once again, stomping off, he followed in hot pursuit.

She sat down, tears falling from her face.

Blue...talk to me, please.

Blue swiped her hand across her face, taking the tears out with it. Ethan sat next to her, and she was still raging mad. She didn't know what to say, or think, or do that was going to keep her from lashing out at him. It wasn't his fault.. well it WAS but .. part of it was her. Heavily tear covered eyes shift to look over him. Ringed with red puffy skin from all the blood having rushed up there because of the tears. Her body going crazy trying to find if she was injured or if she just had to get things out.

YOU SAID NO MORE SECRETS! She said, she wanted to get up and pace around. So she used her cane and got up. She was a pacer when she got mad. When she had to work things out, it was not as easy nor did it have the same effect it might have had she been able to really stretch out her legs.

Boy it had to be sooooome scene to see her pacing with a cane. Hobble-pacing.

You said that Ethan Kelly! You said it! You told me that outside of romantic gifts and surprises of that nature! You were NOT going to keep secrets from me ANYMORE! What the FUCK was that file!? Huh? Huh? When did you get that?! Where did it come from?! Don't you think I should have been the one to see that damn thing first?!

Tears streamed down her face while she paced. Stumbling over a rock she called out in pain and went down. On all fours. Deciding since she really didn't want him coming to her rescue she would just sit down which was something she really didn't want to do. Tearing a flower from the ground she began to disect it of all it's flower petals. She was so mad she had to do something. Anything to keep her from doing something else. Like turning his cyberware off and leaving his ass to get rained on or something.

She sniffled like a five year old and let out a long sigh.

I have.. I have been there with you through everything. I'm going to be there with you through everything else! But you have GOT to stop this SHIT! You have got to be honest and open with me or it's not going to work! I want it to work Damnit! Terra knows I want this shit to work but I can't handle constantly being lied to Ethan! I can't! You can't hold shit from me! I'M NOT A BABY! I'M NOT WEAK! I DON'T NEED A BABYSITTER I NEED A BOYFRIEND, A LOVE!

Blue curled into herself putting her head on her knees. Letting her mess of curls cover her face as she cried softly into her pants.

YOU SAID NO MORE SECRETS!

Ethan did everything he could mentally to keep himself from rolling his eyes. This was about the file...his bargaining chip. Was she really pulling all that from the fact that she didn't see it first? She would've never known she didn't see it if she just listened and let him handle his own meeting. She had barged in and made it seem like some sort of awkward visit.

You said that Ethan Kelly! You said it! You told me that outside of romantic gifts and surprises of that nature! You were NOT going to keep secrets from me ANYMORE! What the FUCK was that file!? Huh? Huh? When did you get that?! Where did it come from?! Don't you think I should have been the one to see that damn thing first?!

No, I... Was all he could get out before she tripped on a rock and plummeted to the ground, sitting there on all fours.

I have.. I have been there with you through everything. I'm going to be there with you through everything else! But you have GOT to stop this SHIT! You have got to be honest and open with me or it's not going to work! I want it to work Damnit! Terra knows I want this shit to work but I can't handle constantly being lied to Ethan! I can't! You can't hold shit from me! I'M NOT A BABY! I'M NOT WEAK! I DON'T NEED A BABYSITTER I NEED A BOYFRIEND, A LOVE!

She curled in to a ball and cried. Ethan was trying to be sympathetic, he knew it was difficult with her injuries. But...for fuck's sake, this was getting ridiculous. She was more whiny and stubborn when she got the freedom she always said she wanted. He was sick of it!

If you're not a weak baby, stop acting like one. His tone was cutting as he sat next to her.

You ask me to be honest and open with you...yet you automatically assume I'm not being so when you realize that there is one iota that you weren't aware of initially.

When I went to get some food this morning, I stopped by an emergency dropbox I had for a situation like this, and I retrieved the file. I aslo had a copy of it made so I could show you, but you refused to just let me do what I'm good at and have this meeting.

He sighed, seeing her looking at him. No doubt she didn't expected that from him.

I need things to make this too, Blue. I need you to trust me. I know that's asking alot with all the deception, but you need to trust that I know what I can and can't tell you in the immediate moment.

Did you need to know Neona broke the agreement and brought at least one Guardsman with her? No. It didn't matter, because I broke it too and brought a weapon. This is how these deals go Blue...this is my world. Was my world.

He took her hand and squeezed it.

Ok? I'll keep no secrets from you, but you need to stop lording over me when you realize that I knew something you didn't.

She almost got up and left. She didn't deserve to be told she was acting like a baby. Yes, she was having a very hard time needing so much help. It wasn't like Blue she didn't rely on people. She was able to take care of herself and she certainly didn't like the days where she was so sore from working and other things that he had to carry her upstairs. She didn't like the days where he would barely touch her at all, because he was afraid that he would hurt her.

She supposed she was mourning her old life.

He told her about the drop box he went to check this morning.

You could have TOLD me about it at least. Explained you had a file and you would show me later. But you didn't. You just whip it out in front of my sister aqnd I hd no idea that this file ever existed. And you can't blame me for wanting to be there. Neona is furious with you, and she isn't as forgiving as I am. She would not have listened if I wasn't there. I told you that a million times, but you dont care what I say because I'm not in your business. But, I know my sister.

Blue's eyes were heavy with tears as he took her hand and squeezed it. Saying he would try to have less secrets but that there were times she was just going to have to trust him. She did trust him, it was the fact that she wanted to be part of his world. She wanted to integrate herself into his world fully. She didn't want there to be things they didn't understanad about each other. She knew that he would never fully understand the way she was and especially with the electronicsw and so forth. But she wanted to try to be as clear as they could.

I feel like.. she bit her lower lip because, she didnt really like talking much about her feelings or how to express them properly. It was probably why Ethan got the short end of the stick because she just felt so out of place. I feel like.. I don't know where I belong anymore. I've lost control of so much. When you told me that you weren't really John Rivers, it shook me to a core that... hurt. But, I don't care what you're name is. You're still the same guy that I loved... but it isn't even that...

Blue wiped the tears off her face and brushed her hair back from her face. She didn't know how to explain to him what had happened to her. How she felt. How could you describe it to someone that wouldn't understand

I've .. I feel like.. with all these injuries I don't know who I am anymore. I was Blue. Over worked, under fed, under cared for. Until you came along and you picked me up and you set me straight little by little and you worked your little charismatic way into my heart.... but then that Terra Forsken Android has to show up and everything just feels .. muted.

She looks over at him.

I can't just get up and go to work. I can't just drive my own car. I can't even .. I can't even be sexy anymore. Or.. make love to my boyfriend... or .. go on a walk. I'm in danger of being killed or kidnapped or worse. I'm in danger of falling on my ass and .. I'm in danger of everything and all I really want is to be Blue Tiran again. But, what if that never happens? What if I can't ever have kids? I wanted... kids one day, E....

She hoped he wouldn't yell at her again, because she was seriously pouring things out of her soul she promised herself she was never going to tell. Because, it made her feel even more weak than when she had to rely on him to get to the bathroom in the middle of the night when her nerves were twitching and she couldn't get them to work right.

I really want to be the girl that you love, that will fulfill every expectation ... I want.. to be your Blue.

She looked mad when he called her a baby, but then again, who wouldn't? The anger seemed to slowly melt away, but the fact was that Blue looked distraught, unhappy, just plain sad. She brushed her hair out of her face and the tears from her eyes before Blue really started to let her feelings out.

I've .. I feel like.. with all these injuries I don't know who I am anymore. I was Blue. Over worked, under fed, under cared for. Until you came along and you picked me up and you set me straight little by little and you worked your little charismatic way into my heart.... but then that Terra Forsaken Android has to show up and everything just feels .. muted.

Ethan's face fell, staring as his forlorn girl. She looked over at him, and the hopelessness in her eyes made him want to just hold her.

I can't just get up and go to work. I can't just drive my own car. I can't even .. I can't even be sexy anymore. Or.. make love to my boyfriend... or .. go on a walk. I'm in danger of being killed or kidnapped or worse. I'm in danger of falling on my ass and .. I'm in danger of everything and all I really want is to be Blue Tiran again. But, what if that never happens? What if I can't ever have kids? I wanted... kids one day, E....

Blue... He reached over to her and held her face in his hands, feeling her damp cheeks.

I really want to be the girl that you love, that will fulfill every expectation ... I want.. to be your Blue.

Ethan looked deep in to Blue's eyes, holding her face tenderly.

And since when have you not been my Blue?

He saw her shrug softly at the question, obviously not really knowing what to say.

How can you say that the Android attack changed who you are? You are the same amazing, wonderful, stubborn woman I fell in love with all those months ago.

Blue, you can do anything you set your mind to, I know, because a lot of the time those are things I don't want you doing. You never stopped being Blue Tiran, and you never stopped being sexy, or amazing, and you will get better. I know it.

As they sat together, watching the river boat come and go, Ethan heard footsteps approaching them.

That can't be good.

A young man Ethan knew strolled up to the couple, and smiled down at him.

Ethan, good to see you. How have you been?

Rob, you know how I'm doing. What do you want?

Rob was one of the New Dawn covert operatives, one off the best in all honesty. Ethan had met him as "John" and the fact he knew his real name meant nothing good.

You know what I want. I liked you when you were John, I just thought that I would give you the opportunity to defend yourself before I rescued Ms. Tiran.

Ethan rose slowly and straightened his hair and clothing before nodding to the man.

Show me what you got. Its going to be a real shame killing you.

Blue looked up at him with her red swollen eyes and let him brush the tears from her cheeks. She must have looked a mess. Puffy red eyes, tears streaming down her face, and a bit of sniffling going on. She didn't want to be a baby, but she felt like she had lost so much of herself She was actually glad that she had been able to tell him what had been bothering her because before, she might have just kept it all in. But he needed to know how she felt after the attack because not talking about it didn't change how she felt and it kept getting worse.

He said she was still sexy, and beautiful. That nothing had changed and given some more time she would get better. He just knew that she would. With a weak but hopeful smile she nodded and put her head on his shoulder Sliding herself so that she was against him. Letting him put his arm around her, she watched the river boat.

She had no idea why it calmed her so much. The river boat. But, she had always been attracted to the simple beauty of the steam boat. Slowly her eyes closed, not to sleep, but only to rest as she snuggled into Ethan. She was really glad he hadn't lashed out against her again. because, at that point, she wasn't sure she would have been able to take it.

Footsteps approached, which she thought was strange since most people either got on or off the boat but they didn't normally come to the field. Her eyes opened, swollen and raw as she lifted her head up and saw Rob. Her new 'buddy' from New Dawn. When Ethan came out as Ethan he had been incapable of staying for the time being at New Dawn. She actually had a plan for that, but it would require him to get himself absolved of all his crimes first. Which was why theyhad went to see Neona. If they could get her sister to do what she needed to do. Blue had a plan.

Rob. Just go. Because, I don't want to have to hate you. But, I will if you can't just leave us alone. I'm not in danger.

Rob looked over at Blue. And frowned. He had that hots for her, major hots. Even though she was all crippled up now, he was certain that she would be fine given a few months and then they would really be able to have some fun. And besides, it was only a matter of time before Ethan died or.. just left. He was burned in a big way and Rob wouldn't mind having the bounty that was on his head.

Sorry, Blue. Can't do that. He's been labeled a threat. I have to protect you.

Blue rolled her eyes. Seriously? Couldn't one thing go right in a day? It seemed that after Ethan told her the truth of who he was, everything had been going down hill in a big bad way. As Rob lurched forward she grabbed her cane out of the grass and jabbed him right in the knee cap with it. With a scream of pain, he went down on one knee and looked over at Blue in horror.

I told you, no. What IS it with men that won't LISTEN she said as she popped him over the head with the butt of her cane.

The one thing Ethan knew about Rob was that he was confident, strong and cocky. You had to be when you worked in the job they both had for quite some time. Ethan, however had one significant advantage: his cybernetics and metallic bone overlays. Rob here was purely human; Ethan was faster, stronger, quicker in thought and Ethan had a long military career to fall back on.

Without another thought, Rob lurched forward to attack and was swiftly dispatched to the ground with a canestrike, fall to the ground with a yell. Another swooping strike came from above, directly on to his head.

I told you, no. What IS it with men that won't LISTEN

Ethan simply bent over and laughed. That he didn't expect.

Now do you see how you can be regular self? Now, you just have accessories.

He reached down to help her up. Once she got to her feet, Ethan went to go check on their supposedly unconscious counterpart. Checking Rob's pockets for weapons, he found nothing before catching a strong jab to the face. Rob was on his feet quickly as Ethan hit the ground, his nose red but not bloody.

That was a mistake. Ethan spun and swept Rob's legs, hearing the other man land with a much harder crumple than before. Ethan kicked his legs up, and caught Rob across the jaw as the man tried to get up. Turning back to Blue, he began to usher her towards the car.

Its reasons like that encounter right there that make me want you as far away from my old life as possible. Come on, Rob probably isn't alone.

Ethan seemed proud of her for taking out Rob. And Blue had to admit she was fairly proud of herself as well. He helped her up and out of the way. Her hands hurt from when she fell but she would be fine. She moved out of the way and stood over to the side as he began to go back to Rob and look through his pockets. She wasn't sure what he was searching for. But, Rob surprised them both by popping Ethan in the nose with his fist faster than either of them expected.

Which was a really bad move, because Ethan was half metal.

When he knocked Rob out fully, she looked over at him as he returned to her side and helped her back to the car. She was going to let him drive this time. He told her this was why he wanted her as far from his life as possible, and she stopped him. Looking up at him, she shook her head.

If I didn't want to be in this part of your life, I wouldn't be with you, Ethan. I love .. I love all there is. This life, past life, present life, and whatever our future will bring for us. I.. I don't care if there is danger. It's all worth it to be with you.

Sappy romance movie moment over, it was worth it. She didn't care if he laughed at her, because what she said was completely true. She loved every moment she could get with him and she wouldn't trade any of them for anything. Gently, she got in the car and let him get in the drivers seat.

I hate having bodyguards. They're all soooo pointless. It isn't like that asshat was really protecting me. He just didn't want me around you. He has a thing for me. When you go do errands and stuff and he pops by to protect me, he makes that very clear.

She rolled her eyes. She took care of herself. Mostly by locking herself in her temmporary laboratory while she could. Because she could shut the sucker down like a fortress. There had been a few times that she had sent Rob out on an errand and got Erik instead. She could handle Erik he was geeky and seemed to be more interested in figuring out what she was working on and talking to her than anything else and she liked that. Erik she used more like an assistant than a bodyguard. Which was handy when it was hard for her to walk around.

So.. what's going to happen with Palladin? she asked as they began to head home. It was a discussion she needed to have with him, now that she had gotten a lot of her baggage out of the way maybe he would understand such things. As her need to go with him. Because, she was going to be going and she knew that her sister would make sure she went if Blue said she was going to be there anyway. Because Blue would find a way to be there. So he might as well own up to that now.

Thankfully, when Ethan made the move towards the car with Blue, she didn't resist. It seemed that today was just one of those days where she was going to be a pain in the ass and Ethan was just going to have to deal with it. Walking quickly up to the car, Blue placed a hand on his chest, firmly stopping him just outside the vehicle's door.

If I didn't want to be in this part of your life, I wouldn't be with you, Ethan. I love .. I love all there is. This life, past life, present life, and whatever our future will bring for us. I.. I don't care if there is danger. It's all worth it to be with you.

He looked down at the woman he loved. The woman who professed to love him despite his past, no matter what the future brought. She may not have cared about danger, but he knew her sister did. The way they had gone at each other like baying dogs was proof enough of that. Ethan simply smiled at Blue and kissed her softly, trying not to take up much time.

You...are absolutely insane. But, I still love you.

Helping Blue in to the car, he drove away, watching the rear-view mirror to make sure they were not followed. Satisfied after a half mile that they were clear, Blue continued on about Rob.

I hate having bodyguards. They're all soooo pointless. It isn't like that asshat was really protecting me. He just didn't want me around you. He has a thing for me. When you go do errands and stuff and he pops by to protect me, he makes that very clear.

Stopping at a light, Ethan turned to look at her. Was this recent? He's been visiting? Why did you tell me?

Blue explained and she was right. She could take care of herself...most of the time. The only problem with Blue was that she was too stubborn to admit she needed help, and too proud to accept it. Despite all these things, she was still the greatest thing to happen to Ethan Kelly...by far.

So.. what's going to happen with Paladin?

As the car got closer and closer to the safe house where Ethan had insisted on staying for the next few days until the assault actually happened, Blue seemed to want to talk more about next steps. Ethan knew Blue wanted to be there, and Blue knew that Ethan would do everything beyond not going himself to keep her out of that fight. What a fight that will be... Kelly mused to himself as they pulled in to the underground parking structure near the safe house.

Well, once the information I provided gets analyzed, verified, etc. the Guard will have to move fast. The corporations have spies everywhere, even the Terran Guard, although the Guard would never admit to being infiltrated. But, trust me, they have and they are, nearly constantly, as a matter of fact.

He pulled in to a parking space. The safe house was a high rise condo in the middle of the city, much like Ethan's Paladin Corporate accommodations had been. Getting out of the tank, he moved to help her. It had been a rough day on her, physically especially, it made sense she would need a little help..if she accepted it.

The Guard will need to make a coordinated assault on the headquarters here in Librium if they want to collect any more evidence. That, and capture high value targets, since I know the majority of the corporate board will bug out as soon as intel comes in on the assault. It will be bloody, dangerous, and deadly if the Guard don't pull it off right.

If I know the Guard, they will botch this worse than they did killing that fucking android the first time.

That is precisely why I don't want you going...you don't have the training or condition to enter that kind of environment. I don't mean it as an insult, but you can't keep yourself alive with cane whips alone.

The door to the elevator closed as they rose up the thirty five stories, only to walking to another potential verbal battle. Either way, he had the file copy under his arm, and they could go over that.

Put fires out before starting new ones...

I didn't tell you because, you would have over reacted and freaked out. Besides that, I took care of it anyway. He's a jerk, but he's not stupid and you know that I already have wired certain things in that safe house. It isn't going to be easy to pull one over on me.

They drove towards the safe house. She leaned back in her seat a little bit, and was glad that he was driving. She would never admit it, but she was exhausted. When they pulled into their parking garage and into a spot she began to get out of the car when his hand was there. Normally, she would have told him to get bent, but she was exhausted, and her body ached in ways that told her she needed a bath badly.

So she took his hand and let him help her. As she did, a woman in a VERY tight black dress walked by and tossed her hair. Giving Ethan a knowing little wink as she passed. Blue glared at the girl and pushed away from Ethan. Women would probably move in on him if they thought she was too weak. No man wanted a weak woman, they wanted someone that would take care of THEM not the other way around.

Blue's eyes stung with tears as she worked her very painful way to the elevator system. Calling it from the car, had helped that by the time they got to it the doors chimed and opened for them.

The door to the elevator closed as he began to tell her the reasons that she could not go to the Paladin mission. Blue leaned heavily against the metal sides of the elevator, her knuckles white on the cane that supported her weight as well. She was silent. Which was never a good sign because she was always quick to get into a fight. Blue waited until the elevator opened now on their floor and they went to their place.

She still hadn't said anything.

She was so tired, and she hurt, and her feelings were hurt, and she was so fucking tired of being an invalid. Which would have been worse if not for Liam. Her recovery was nothing short of miraculous and it was all because of him and then a lot of hard work from her. She was working out again, and it was helping, but it was too slow for Blue. Blue who was always about throwing yourself into something so hard it had no choice but to bend to your will and work. She couldn't make her body heal any faster than it already did.

Inside the apartment, she went straight to the master bath and started the water. She sat down on the toilet seat to undress herself and her cane leaned against the wall. Once she was ready she lowered herself into the large tub which was one of the reasons they had picked this safe house. With a long sigh, she closed her eyes and let the hot water work it's magic. Ethan came into the bathroom a couple minutes after her, and her multi-hued eyes opened.

I'm already half insane, being like this. she said calmly. Too calmly for Blue. You can't leave me behind in a safe house to wonder if you're alive, if you're okay, and if you're ever coming back. I will be there, in some capacity. Find a place for me. I have gifts. Let me use them. Let me be of use to someone.

Her eyes closed, and she relaxed again. Creepily calm.

Blue was quiet. Ethan...began to worry.

Blue is never quiet, especially when she isn't getting her way. At least, when I disagree with what she thinks is the correct course of action.

She's way too quiet...way too calm.

Blue moved quickly...well, she hobbled quickly to the bathroom, exactly where Ethan thought she would want to go after she had stressed out her body. He let her do her thing, knowing full well that an offer to help her undress or get in to the tub would set off untold numbers of fireworks and explosions Ethan really didn't have the energy to deal with right now.

After a few minutes, hearing the water turn off and a sight of relief come from Blue's lips, Ethan casually strolled in to the bathroom and picked up Blue's clothing, holding it in his arms, before taking a seat on the toilet. It was what they used to do all the time when she would accept help. It was begrudgingly, but she accepted it nonetheless.

I'm already half insane, being like this.

You sound pretty much cooooked to me, when you talk like that honey. Ethan mused to himself, trying to keep his cool.

You can't leave me behind in a safe house to wonder if you're alive, if you're okay, and if you're ever coming back. I will be there, in some capacity. Find a place for me. I have gifts. Let me use them. Let me be of use to someone.

Ethan sighed, dry washing his hands for a moment, before meeting her eyes again. She looked hurt. It wasn't even physical pain, either. He literally had no idea what he was doing now that her stubborn side decided to mix with her self-pity. It was mentally exhausting.

You don't have to be there to use your gifts Blue. Just like you can't worry at home. I will completely lose concentration if you're sitting on a firing line. Its...its something that will get me killed. I know you don't want to hear it, but if I could just keep you in some impervious box, just to know you were safe.

...I can't lose you.

It was the truth, that single thought literally scared him to death.

Tears spilled silently down her cheeks as he spoke to her. That her being there would get him killed. Because he wouldn't be able to do anything for her, he wouldn't be able to concentrate on the whole mission at hand. He would be left to wonder if she was all right. And if she was wearing the locket, then it could be very dangerous for her to get hurt. So, in a way she knew that he was right. But, she needed something. Something to hang onto, a catalyst. She felt like she was wasting away.

Blue took a big breath and let it out.

Her hand reached out and found Ethan's. Entertwining her damp fingers with his dry ones, she looked down at the water as she fought her mind for what words she wanted to say. She knew she had things to say. She wanted them to be the right ones though. She loved him, and she knew that he did not understand where she was coming from here. But, in the same breath, she needed him to understand that until she got.. this.. drive back, she was going to stay like this.

Then, find me a place to belong, Ethan. A.. a.. command center.. a .. a place so I can be involved. So I can help. And watch out for you. Be there without being there. Ethan, it's the only way. I .. I can't lose you either.

She looked up at him with those soft shimmering eyes and tugged on his hand. Waiting for him to kneel on the floor so that she could lean in and press her lips against his softly. Letting their lips toy and play with one another for a moment before she pulled back and looked into his eyes.

Can we make that a deal? I could be involved without being in the line of fire, we'd both be safe and happy. Right?

She touched his face with her fingers leaving tiny wet trails behind. Leaning her head foreward she placed her nose next to his. Their forheads touching. Her eyes closed. Blue was still beautiful. In just about every way. Luckily, he didn't mind her scars. She appreciated that, because she couldn't do anything about them.

Come soak with me. she whispered softly, softly letting her lips trail from the corner of his mouth and down his neck. He would know what she wanted. It had been.. a while.. since they had done.. anything close to that because of the pain involved and the fact that her body only moved in certain ways while recovering. But, in the bath, her muscles were far more loose and she really, really wanted Ethan in this tub. Like yesterday.

As Ethan spoke, he saw tears fall from her eyes, sliding down her cheeks. It killed him inside to make her cry...to know that he was he sole reason for her pain. She took a big exasperated breath and reached for his hand. He let her take his in hers and entwined their fingers as she spoke.

Then, find me a place to belong, Ethan. A.. a.. command center.. a .. a place so I can be involved. So I can help. And watch out for you. Be there without being there. Ethan, it's the only way. I .. I can't lose you either.

Ethan nodded, she was right. Her not being there would not happen. Neona would see that her little sister got her wish, no matter how crazy it would seem. A command center was a good idea, and usually the Terran Guard weren't stupid enough to keep it on premises. Blue tugged on his hand, giving a lock for him to read her mind. Knowing what she wanted, Ethan knelt down by the tub. Leaning to meet her, they shared a playful kiss.

Can we make that a deal? I could be involved without being in the line of fire, we'd both be safe and happy. Right?

He thought about her proposal for a moment, slowly letting his head nod in agreement. That is a deal I can live with Blue. Partially because I know that you won't quit until I agree to something....also, its a good idea.

Blue's kisses began to trail up and down her neck as her voice got soft and raspy in the way it used to when she was feeling frisky. She asked him to soak with her, barely letting her soft lips leave his neck.

You sure? She simply nodded and kissed him again, nibbling his lower lip. Yep. Blue was ready to go. Within a couple of moments and a couple of snapped buttons, Ethan slid himself in to the tub with Blue. She looked just as beautiful as always, and her scar gave her a bit of rugged charm that she would never understand.

He was slow, gentle, and extremely aware of her injuries. The doctors had told her that she was ok to be intimate again, but Ethan feared that his enhancements would do more damage than pleasure. A few adjustments here, and one angry smack from Blue found them in a rhythm that not only got them where they wanted to be...but also removed a large volume of water from the tub. Holding himself up on the tub's edges, Ethan smiled at Blue as they kissed.

No more fighting when you're naked...you'll win every time.

He asked if she was sure. She understood why too. Since her accident, she had been unable to. Whether physically or emotionally she had just not been able to get herself to do it. Terrified her new body wasn't as good looking as her older one. Terrified that she wasn't going to be able to do it, or that she was going to do something extremely wrong, or it would hurt. But today, she felt as though she was finally ready.

They kissed as he got himself undressed, and then slid down into the tub. She only popped him when he slid in too fast and the water gushed over the sides. They finally found a way to get him underneath her to sit in the tub and she was on his lap. Water spilled all over the floor of the bathroom. Neither of them cared.

He said something about not fighting when naked because he would never win a fight that way causing her to chuckle while they kissed.

Then, I'll have to make a habit of it.

They found themselves learning a very gentle way to be together. Because, of her hips and how they could only bend so far at the moment. But, she was working at it. But, it was slow and loving. And it was probably the best that it had ever been. At least, in her mind. Not only because it had been so long but also because it was very loving, because they could, and because they still loved each other after all of this.

She found herself cuddling with him as tightly as she could afterward. Kissing his shoulder or his neck. Or the soft bend inbetween. She ran her fingers over his scars. Loving each and every one of them, and loved the way that he toyed with her very long hair and the way she felt like maybe.. they had finally, fully, reconnected after the accident in a way that.. they hadn't been able to before.

I love you, Ethan Kelly.

After a few more minutes, they got out and dried off. It wasn't evening yet, but she didn't want their atmosphere of love and softness to end. So, they started a fire, and got into sleep ware. For her, it was one of his shirts, and one of his boxers. She knew that while he was always teasing her about it, that he secretly loved it. They curled up on the floor in front of the fire, facing one another.

Her dark hair spilled out behind her on the carpet towards the fire. There was a soft blanket over them for the most part. Since it was winter, and cold. She thought of something she had never had the nerve to ask and... now it seemed like a good moment to bring up something that had been.. nagging at the back of her mind in a way.

Remember, the day of the attack on our house? she asked softly her black lashes glistening slightly as they caught the firelight. You ummm... you said something about... 'til death do us part' and I was.. I was wondering..l if you.. if you meant something by that. You know.. for us.

The tub had been a new experience, but a fantastic one. Their sexual encounters had always been more raw and athletic, but this was different. While it held its own challenges, it put Blue and Ethan in a much longer, more romantic position. They were both cautious about Blue's injuries, and that made them go slow, letting them enjoy every moment. It was like they had lit a new fire in their relationship, when everything else was threatening to extinguish their flames of passion.

I love you, Ethan Kelly.

Meeting her eyes as Blue cuddled up tightly against him, Ethan leaned in and kissed her lips softly, lovingly.

I love you too, Niara Tiran.

He didn't know if she was ok with him using her real name...but he stayed alive, so he assumed that was good. They dried off and got dressed in loose clothing as they curled up in front of the fire. He nodded as she spoke about the words he had said in the apartment. Nudging just a bit closer, Ethan spoke softly, so she would have to lean in.

In the war, we had a partner who was always with us. We affectionately called them our 'wives.' Our motto to one another was 'til death,' as we would never leave our partner, and always have their back. I said that to you because...you're my partner now, even though I would never think about pulling you in to a firefight. He smiled, rubbing her nose with his own.

If you're talking about vows and oaths...I don't know. I never thought about it until recently. If I decide to make those sorts of commitments, you know it would be with you.

Hoping that answer would be sufficient for her, Ethan took Blue in his arms and held her close, closing his eyes and listening to the sound of her breathing. It always relaxed him.

As they lay in front of the fire, Ethan told her about the 'wives' in his unit. He didn't talk much about his time in the war, or Paladin for that matter. She didn't feel it was so much of it being a secret as it was just.. some things he didn't like to talk about. She could understand. She didn't like to talk about how she really felt about her sister, or her parents. She didn't want to talk about how devestated she was when her brother died, and how a lot of her life had gone with him.

Until she got it back, but changed so much in the process.. her family had a completely different daughter when they started to pay attention to her again.

He told her that, she was like his partner now. He would look after her, and they would stick together no matter what. Blue couldn't help but smile. That meant the world to her to know. Because, he was constantly trying to leave her in the safe zone and she was constantly trying to follow him in the red zone.

It was a fight they would probably always be involved in.

Blue smiled as he ran his nose along hers. She never thought she would find someone.. not like Ethan. She figured that she would probably never really come out of her lab. She hadn't really looked or wanted any kind of relationship and had been more than happy to sit in her lab and do her own thing. Sol had been there for a while, but he had disappeared during an assignment and she hadn't heard from him in almost a year and.. well... things changed int hat length of time.

But, she had never really expected for love to come from inside her lab. In the form of a man posing as her bodyguard. And he had saved her life. And she had saved his. And now, they had this cliche sort of romance that was perfect. They fought, they bickered, they teased, but they loved each other so much that it was probably sickly sweet in some moments.

This was one of those moments.

He mentioned that if he was going to do some sort of vows... that it would be with her. Causing her smile to deepen, and her lips to tip slightly so that she could kiss him gently. Before snuggling into him and relaxing further.

She would forever be grateful to Liam, for what he had done. For healing her enough that she would walk. She was working hard, especially now that Ethan was back in her life, at healing herself. At getting stronger, and she would hold to her promise, she would make waves in the world. She would give back what was given to her. She would find a way. Even if it was building fake limbs for those that were lost. Something. She would do it.

What are we going to do, when Paladin is down? Are we going back to status quo? Back to work for you and me at New Dawn? By then, I should be cleared to go back to work and.. I'm really.. ready to go back. they both knew it was killing her to do the piddley work that they sent her at home, and New Dawn was desperate to have their work horse back.

But if she and Ethan were going to get serious, really really serious, she planned to alter her schedule. To make more 'them' time.

How did you end up with Paladin?

Blue liked his answers, she brightened and smiled like never before. It was like they had just started dating...the intense love with the newness. It was an enchanting feeling, and Ethan was living it up at the moment. Despite it all though, in the back of his mind, he kept feeling on the alert...like New Dawn operatives or Terran Guards would burst through the door any minute.

Its prudent to be alert...but you're hitting paranoia my friend. Oh, shut up. Ethan replied to his psyche with a light grimace.

What are we going to do, when Paladin is down? Are we going back to status quo? Back to work for you and me at New Dawn? By then, I should be cleared to go back to work and.. I'm really.. ready to go back.

Running his fingers through her hair, Ethan nodded.

I know you are, anything to stop feeling useless. I don't know what we'll do. New Dawn may not let me back on their campus. If that's the case, I will get a job somewhere else. There is always work for people with my...particular skill set.

That meant more espionage, and more dangerous work. The dangerous work never bothered Ethan, but he knew it would be difficult with Blue hovering in his life now. She wasn't hovering, per se, but she was concerned with his well being...which was a nice change of pace since they had first met.

How did you end up with Paladin?

Blue had that inquisitive look on her face, the one that partially demanded answers, but was cute enough to look innocent. Ethan didn't really like thinking much about Paladin; his work there hadn't been....peaceful.

Well, once the fighting stopped, the soldiers in my unit didn't have any place to go. Paladin was the place that had put in our cybernetics, and it just seemed to fit. We knew that the implants would need maintenance, and who could pass up a free job?

Putting on a pensive face, Ethan looked in to Blue's multi-hued eyes.

That, and there was adventure, women, and a very large paycheck. It was like getting holiday hazardous duty pay for the entirety of your salary.

Why are you so curious all of a sudden?

Blue didn't want him to work away from her. She wondered if there was a way she could help him continue to work at New Dawn. She really wanted him close. They worked so well together and she doubted that now that they actually were in Love that he would want her to be out of his site too much. Especially, that Paladin was still a threat. At least for now. And after that, she wasn't sure if she was technically safe. Was Paladin the only people that wanted her?

Why was she so coveted? Because of her work? Because of her mind? She had no idea but she loved her job and she wanted to stay right where she was. If only Ethan could stay too.

Maybe, once my sister gets you all cleared, then you'll be able to work there still. I hope so anyway.. I don't like the thought of us working apart.. but I guess that's what normal couples do. she chuckled.

She guessed she was just used to having hm around so much.

He told her that it had been a natural transition. To start working for the people that fixed you up and put all the fun mechanical parts within. She smiled softly, as she could understand how that would make ssense to most people. If you had a problem you walked down the hall and got it fixed. She had fixed his cybernetics many times, and she was glad that she was good at it. Maybe that was one of the reasons that paladin wanted her. She had no idea... but.. she had a source she could ask, she supposed.

Her mouth dropped open when he started talking about the salary, the women and the adventure. Her brow rose. She twisted a bit and pulled herself up on her elbow looking down at him curiously.

Women? she asked, as she cocked her brow slightly. Her dark blue and black hair was slowly drying in the fire and the slight curls were springing up all around her. Framing her body and her face, but her eyes were.. nothing but jealousy and worry. Not that she didn't trust him, she did. He had never proven there was a reason not to... just... she didn't like the thought of someone else with her man. She had no idea she could be so.. so .. possessive.

Once he answered, she bit her lower lip and lay back down. Snuggling into his arms, she kissed his chest. She didn't like the thought of him with other women in the past but it wasn't like she had never dated anyone. Just Sol... and a couple Elven guys her parents had tried to get her into and failed miserably. They never would understand each other. But, even still, she knew that was in her past and htere was no reason to freak out about it. She just.. hoped they stayed in the past.

Why does Paladin want me? You have to know something. she whispered looking up at him with those wide eyes of hers.

Blue listened intently as Ethan spoke about his past and recruitment in to Paladin. As always, she was interested and made no move to comment or interrupt him. The mention of the rewards did, however, seem to peak her interests. She inquired, of course, about the women he mentioned. Of course, any good military recruitment talked about all the exotic women you could meet.

Yes, baby. I was a covert operative, a secret agent, if you will. I wish it wasn't real...but it was more like those corny secret agent novels than anything else. Sometimes, I had to seduce women and steal their secrets, kill their boyfriends or husbands, or even kill them.

She gave him a look that said she wanted more, some sort of assurance, he was sure of it.

The majority of women I interacted with on missions I have no contact with whatsoever. The others were more military or knowledge contacts, nothing else. You have nothing to fear from them. I promise.

Blue seemed to take comfort in that, and she snuggled in to him, causing Ethan to softly exhale in relief. The particular phrase seemed to scream its wrongness at him the moment he spoke it. Then again, the very important moments he never seemed to put his foot in his mouth. Without more to say, Blue looked up at him with those big eyes of hers.

Why does Paladin want me? You have to know something.

Ethan sighed. He wasn't one hundred percent sure what they had wanted of her. It wasn't his job to know. The sole job was to extract information. But, now, their motives were clear.

Honestly Blue, I have no idea why I was sent to steal your ideas. Maybe they were trying to discredit New Dawn? Discredit you? Come out with competitive products? I have no idea, that isn't...wasn't my job. In that line of work, you don't ask questions.

As for you now. They are after you because you care about me. You're the only thing I have that would resemble family. That makes you a target. I know, I have been on the other end of that rifle before. Its not something I'm proud of in the long run.

Leaning in to her, he softly kissed her with a loving touch.

Any other questions?

So there were women. That he had seduced. For a moment she wondered if that was what he had tried to do with her. But, remembering some of her best memories, reminded her that no.. no that wasn't the case. He never tried to seduce her, they hated each other. At the beginning. They bickered and were sarcatic, and tried to play pranks on each other... and then there was the dump where she saved his ass because it was the right thing to do... annnnnd that was that. That started something neither of them had ever expected.

So no.. that wasn't what he had done with her. Besides, seducing and loving were two very different things.

Thank you, for being honest. I.. I don't like the thought of you with other women but I'm not stupid enough to believe that you've never been with anyone before me. Just.. no one.. else now.

He was honest with her, it was something she appreciated more than she could say. She would rather know the truth and deal with it, than him tell her lies and she find out later. Plus, they had promised no more lies. Her curls shifted slightly as she snuggled into him. So he would stroke her hair, something that turned just about every woman into melted butter. She sighed softly feeling his hands slowly running through her mess of hair and he told her about what they might have wanted before, and what they wanted now.

Now, made sense.

She was the one person in the world that could be considered his family. She was a liability. But, it took some of the focus off of him, and so she wasn't running anywhere. She couldn't imagine anything that would have her running. Well a couple things.. but she doubted he would do that to her. She kissed him softly when he enveloped her into a kiss and she sighed. It felt so good to just .. be his girl again. After the whole.. bathtub thing, she felt like they had reconnected better. Because, afterall, it had been a while since she'd been able to. Because of her injuries, the pain, and him being worried about hurting her.

No.. not really. Is there anything else I need to know from your Paladin days? she asked him softly laying in his arms felt like bliss. She felt like no matter what, no one was coming to get them. It melted all the worry away, and let her for a few moments believe they were completely and utterly safe. It was most definitely, a fantastic feeling.

Blue seemed to take the news about other women surprisingly well. More recently, Ethan had taken notice of her jealousy cropping up at increasing intervals. He had always hoped it was simply a side effect of the physical problems she had experienced since the incident with the Android. Apparently, in this particular instance, sex had been the answer. Post-coital Blue was actually receptive to his women-strewn past, while he knew that pre-coital Blue may have killed him on the spot.

She snuggled deeply in to his arms as she told him that the answers he had given about Paladin had been sufficient. As expected, Blue offered Ethan the chance to add to what they had previously spoken about. As much as Ethan loved Blue, pure and simple, that particular open invitation was not the sort of thing Ethan wanted to get in to without further investigation in to what specifically she meant. On the other hand, any attempt to further question Blue about her inquiry could simple make her mad...

...and mad Blue was bad for business.

Everything you could ever think of is in the file on the kitchen counter for you.

Leaving her answer simply at that, Ethan felt Blue slowly drift off to sleep in his arms. It was a nice feeling, granted, he would've preferred it happening in bed as opposed to a carpeted floor, but sometimes beggars can't be choosers. Closing his eyes, Ethan reviewed the events of the day in his mind and went to sleep as well. The next few days would hold challenges none of them could honestly anticipate.

[/End Thread]